The following was extracted (with permission) from Girez speaking to a client that was particularly empathic and concerned about someone close to them. I love the images, and the reminder that empathy is not the same as compassion. Compassion is being present with someone not mirroring and therefore exaggerating what they are experiencing. By “journey” Girez is referring to this particular incarnation and the life experiences and choices a person makes.
“Your journey is your journey; my journey is my journey. Let go of responsibility of someone else’s journey. The essence of not taking things personally, is not being responsible for anyone else’s journey. Setting down the responsibility for other’s lives reveals your actual love for them no longer tangled up in judgement or self-judgement. You are only responsible for yourself. And what you truly want, is not to fix their experience, but to reconnect to yourself, to your own light, and to your own powerful love. And that reconnection to yourself is actually the greatest gift you can give to others.
It is more beneficial to say, “I see your pain, but I do not take on your pain.” When we see someone in pain or fear or anger, we don’t run away but instead stay with them in awareness. In an awareness that has no judgement. And we project our light, not towards them, not to fix them. We just shine our light. If we take on their pain, we are magnifying pain.
It is as if two people are in a room, and each has a candle. If one person’s candle goes out, and the other person notices and quick blows out their candle. As if to say, “Oh your candle is out, so I will be empathetic and blow out my candle.” Now there is no light in the room! How does that serve?
Instead, it would be of more service to say, “I see your candle is out. My candle is lit. I will give you light because I am keeping my candle lit!” It is the intention, “You are in pain and fear, I will radiate love and joy. Because that will be the soothing balm for your pain and fear on an energetic level.”
If you are reading this, then know that you chose to come into the world at this time, to give light to this world. Do it through joy, bring in your light. More and more light, through your art, through your work, through your interactions in the world, through dancing, through whatever in your life brings you joy. What gives you joy feeds your light. And yes! It is OK to be happy now. It is OK to be reservoir of hope. It is essential that you keep your candle lit.
Your only task here, is not to fix anyone else, it is simply to shine. Each light matters, the brightness of your light effects the whole. So, focus your awareness on what brings you joy, what fills you with gratitude, what puts you in touch with your love. Raise your vibration higher and higher to shine, as a gift to yourself, to this world, as a gift to Gaia. Feed your own light, so when others’ candles in the room go out, it will not matter because you are a bonfire!"
Karen’s notes and resources:
This particular subject, being empathic, is particular important to me as our collective consciousness is in quite an extreme place right now. I find myself going to my toolbox quite frequently to bring myself back to my sovereign energy and clear out what is not mine.
Ask, is it yours:
When I become aware of feeling a strong emotion such as fear or sadness, I ask “Is this mine?” or “Am I choosing to feel this?” If the answer is “No” that energy often passes immediately. If it doesn’t. I will command it leave. (The same questions and response can be used with thoughts.)
If the answer is “Yes, this is mine.” It is a call for me to expand and to be present with it and let it arise without story. It is an opportunity to heal. And if it is too intense, I ask for someone to hold space for me as I become present with it.
"The Warrior Heart Practice"
It appears that many of us are being asked to heal on deeper levels right now. If you are experiencing lots of emotions (that are yours) a great practical tool for working with emotions and beliefs is in HeatherAsh Amara’s book, “The Warrior Heart Practice”
Feeding your light:
Make a daily practice of asking and noticing:
What do I love?
What am I grateful for?
What lights me up?
Take an energetic bath in the good feelings:
When you are aware of joy, or love, or gratitude, give it more attention. Let it magnify and soak it up. As Girez has suggested to people “bathe in the joy, bathe in the love.”